“These positions provide a sense of surrender and the loss of self as we let go from ‘me’ and move to ‘we.’" “In these positions, you have the ability to gaze in each other’s eyes, kiss, press your flesh against each other and enjoy the warmth, and feel the syncing of breath and heartbeat,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, sex therapist, and author of So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. Instead, you want a position that lends itself to romance and intimacy. Odds are, you’re not going to have the most romantic sex while pounding away in doggy style or contorting your bodies for a 69 session, even though both can be a lot of fun.
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The right sex position can help you achieve that. You want to orgasm at the same time, feeling more connected to them than you ever have before. You want to start slow and progressively build until sweat is dripping everywhere and your bodies meld into one. You want to look into your partner’s eyes and stare into their soul. Then there are the times you want to have a romantic and intimate sexual experience-something that shows them just how much you care about them. Other times, you want to dabble in some BSDM and get kinky with your partner, incorporating sex toys, elements of bondage, role-play, and submission. Note: “McInturff, Steve Book, Delaware O.Sometimes, you only have few minutes for a quickie. Photo strip, undated, 35 x 27 mm, provenance: US, (image courtesy of the Nini-Treadwell Collection © “Loving” by 5 Continents Editions) Photograph, 1951, 121 x 83 mm, note: “1951” “Davis & J.C.” (image courtesy of the Nini-Treadwell Collection © “Loving” by 5 Continents Editions) Photograph, Undated, 96 x 67 mm (image courtesy of the Nini-Treadwell Collection © “Loving” by 5 Continents Editions) Cabinet card, circa 1880, 167 x 109 mm, provenance: US,
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The book, Loving: A Photographic History of Men in Love 1850s-1950s (5 Continents Editions), is available online. When we see them as connected, we feel more whole, and that’s what love is about for many of us anyway. Seeing ourselves in the past is as much about being certain of our present and, dare I say, our future. What do images of men in love during a time when it was illegal tell us? What are we looking for in the faces of these people who dared to challenge the mores of their time to seek solace together? Flipping through the book, it wasn’t that I felt that I learned a great deal about being LGBTQ, but what gave me comfort was the feeling that we’re not going anywhere.
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While the majority of the images hail from the United States and are of predominantly white men, there are images from Australia, Bulgaria, Canada, Croatia, France, Germany, Japan, Latvia, and the United Kingdom among the cache. The collection belongs to Hugh Nini and Neal Treadwell, a married couple who has accumulated over 2,800 photographs of “men in love” during the course of two decades. In Loving: A Photographic History of Men in Love 1850s–1950s, hundreds of images tell the story of love and affection between men, with some clearly in love and others hinting at more than just friendship. Hunter” (image courtesy of the Nini-Treadwell Collection © “Loving” by 5 Continents Editions)Ī beautiful group of photographs that spans a century (1850–1950) is part of a new book that offers a visual glimpse of what life may have been like for those men, who went against the law to find love in one another’s arms. Postcard, circa 1910, 90 x 141 mm, note on front: “E.